:: Satisfaction ::
I've been thinking long and hard about my newfound satisfaction. The myriad of things and events which has brought me to this state of utter contentedness where I can just sit for hours smiling to myself like an idiot, emotionally filled up to the brim, like I'm stuffed with a spiritual buffet. I think it's pretty obvious (you might have already gone DUH!!! at this point) that nothing other than God can bring such satisfaction but in order to quantify and rationalise why I should be feeling this way, I tried counting my blessings.
1. BJ and Tyler won The Amazing Race!!! Haha okok, this was totally an 'in the moment' thing, it'll fade away
On a more serious note,
1. I have a loving, supportive family
2. I have hugely supportive, wonderful friends who also happen to be hugely amusing
3. I have eccentric lecturers to laugh over nah jk...the lecturers are amazingly nice and helpful and this brings me to
4. I am so thankful I'm doing medicine...it's just sooooo the right profession and am loving every moment of it
5. I have really cute pink stuff (haha). Seriously, it's almost embarrassing how I go out with a pink bag stuffed with a pink purse, pink handphone cover and pink iPod cover AND pink shoes, skirt, top, earrings, hair accessory and bracelet. Uhhh...a living walking classic old Barbie without the perfectly-proportioned body.
6. Ahhh...my favourite number...to list all my favourite things; dancing, music and musicals!!!
When I sit and think of how Jesus suffered for us on the cross, it seemed almost unforgivable for me to be enjoying all these luxuries. However, I'm sure He wants me to be happy lol...but seriously, enjoying His presence is more than enough. I cannot stress how important it was for me to have Him back in my life. With this satisfaction came a realisation that all the things listed above are almost insignificant and so trivial. Without Him, I wasn't able to fully appreciate my blessings. There was still that hunger and dissatisfaction and the constant seeking for something or someone to cling onto. I have no regrets though, even after going through all that for if I had not, I wouldn't have achieved so much. If I hadn't pursued dancing and music to satisfy and occupy myself, I wouldn't have gained so much knowledge. If I hadn't sought out friends to lean and depend on, I wouldn't have discovered such wonderful people. And if I hadn't clung so tightly on to him, I wouldn't have known that it was possible for a person to love me enough to want to see me through the darkness and help me out of it.
This reminds me of the Mitch Albom book, Five People You Meet In Heaven or something like that. If I had to choose which people played an important role in my life, I wouldn't be able to. It seems like everyone did. I remember reading somewhere about 'guest stars' in one's life. These are people who come and go but leave a lasting impression or made a difference (however slight) in our lives. They do not necessarily have to be someone we see every day or for a significant amount of time. It could just be the lady selling egg tarts in the market, a man on the bus or someone lining up behind you at the ATM machine. You might just see them once in your life, but something they did or said made a difference. I realise this to be true. One's perception can easily change through observation of other people.
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