:: Post-med ::
Last night, I finally felt God's presence after such a long period of emptiness and loneliness. The past two years have been the best and worst of my life. Best because I did what I loved best; medicine, worst because I went through the most tumultuous two years anyone could have gone through. Total emotional rollercoaster turned wreckage.
Like they say, God works best in our weaknesses. His ability is emphasised in our disabilities. The void in my heart cannot possibly be filled by anyone else other than God. Why did it take me so long to realise this? Don't you think 22 years is a little too long lol...Anyway, after searching at all the wrong places, I realised that no one can give me the same satisfaction and warmth that God can. No relationship and friendship can offer you the same amount of love that He can. No one can stick by you and guide you so faithfully like God can. No one is as reliable as God. During these few months, I realised many things. I realised I kept things close for comfort, afraid to let go. Things that were my undoing. Things that, if I kept any longer, would have made me self-destruct. Haha, maybe not THAT serious, but most probably somewhere along that line.
I also realised I lost my ability to write. Really. After all those years of short forms and Manglish gibberish, I lost my ability to write in perfectly good English. I find myself grappling for the most suitable word to use. Gosh, if my Scrabble skills were to reflect my writing...
And now, am talking in Malay-Cantonese-broken English mumbo jumbo in the hospital wards. Haha...it's amusing to watch the patients' expression. Oh, that brings me to the other thing I realised for the past 2 months. I love being in the wards!!! =) Shall blog again when my English improves :P
12:47 PM
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